Case File Magic
by hath57
Summary: A series of short stories, of various genres.


**Chapter One- Fist Fight**

The street was darkened. There was no-one out, no noises, nothing at all. It was peaceful. It was calm. For once.

But then, the sound of a car screeching and the loud shaking of a car was heard, and Skullduggery Pleasant, his skull on show (well, not his own skull, but you probably know that by now, anyway) and his long bony fingers on the wheel. Valkyrie Cain was next to him, staring out of what was left of the windshield.

The entire car was smashed, dented at each side. There was claw marks and god knows what else laden around the car, and the entire roof of the car was gone. Glass was all over the back seat, and they had brushed away some that was in the front.

The car came to a halt, and Valkyrie exited the car, Skullduggery furiously trying to open his own door. In the end, he simply hoisted himself out of what was left of the window, and slammed the door further into the car in annoyance, only for it to fall completely off it's hinges and land next to him. Unfazed, Skullduggery leaned against the side of the car, his torn coat flapping in the breeze.

"I'm sorry, dear…" Skullduggery sighed, patting the Bentley.

"What about me?" Valkyrie asked in disbelief.

"You got a few bruises, but Loko completely destroyed my wife."

"Wait, you think of the Bentley as your _wife_?"

"Yes. And she is always faithful."

"This is up there with some of the strangest conversations we've ever had."

"Yes, but hardly as strange as 'You're a talking Skeleton who's a detective and can use magic, and hasn't actually got his own skull'."

"Touché."

"Goodbye, Madame." Skullduggery did a small bow, and stepped into his car, before getting out again and putting the broken door in the back seat. "I can repair it." He explained to himself, as Valkyrie was already entering her house.

But she immediately turned back when a flash of orange and a loud bang caused the car to be completely destroyed and Skullduggery to be thrown backwards, his bones separating. His skull screaming, he used his severed arms to put his body back together, gasping and yelping at the pain. "She's dead!" Skullduggery cried to the flames, and suddenly noticed it.

It was a dark shape of a humanoid walking gracefully through the flames, not hurt whatsoever by the surrounding fire. Skullduggery stood up, before pulling on his suit again and tipping his hat as in greeting.

"Hello." Skullduggery greeted, before making a small inaudible gasp. The man that walked through the flames, was his old-friend-turned-enemy Hanloth. "Hanloth. Again with the assassination attempts? I can't die." Skullduggery moaned.

"Hanloth?" Valkyrie asked.

"Hanloth. Old friend. Then he disagreed with me about certain things. Long story short, we're at eachother's throats." Skullduggery snapped his fingers, and a large flame emitted from them, Pleasant ready to strike.

"Old friend, when was the last time we fought one on one, no magic? Like the old days? Like the normals of the Earth." Hanloth asked,

"Been a long time. Is that what you're suggesting?" Skullduggery asked.

"Yes."

A pause. "I suppose I could fight you like that…" Skullduggery pulled off his coat and suit jacket, rolled up his shirt sleeves revealing a bony arms, and prepared to strike.

"You can go first." Hanloth smiled gracefully.

"Very well." Skullduggery threw his fist to Hanloth's left cheek, threw his hands on either side of Hanloth's face to discombobulate him, used his elbow to block Hanloth's punch, delivered a successful body shot, blocked an attack on his own body, threw his elbow onto Hanloth's back jaw, delivered another shot to his chest, dislocated his jaw entirely and delivered a kick to his diaphragm, causing him to fall back, hitting his head on the ground all in the space of about seven seconds.

"You're better than what you give yourself credit for." Hanloth weased.

"I try." Skullduggery bowed, before kicking Hanloth once more in the ribs, causing them to crack. Hanloth screamed, and Skullduggery offered him a hand up, which Hanloth gracefully accepted.

"Until we meet again, Skull…" Hanloth gasped, before stumbling away.

"Well, I seem to have sent a message." Skullduggery invisibly smiled.

"Wow… I didn't know you could do that?" Valkyrie asked in awe.

"I was a boxer for a short time. I quit." Skullduggery called, already walking towards a taxi. "Till tomorrow, I bid you adieu!" Skullduggery shouted.


End file.
